Navigating a bar menu can feel like traversing a minefield, especially if you’re not a seasoned drinker. While the pressure to impress or try something new is real, some drinks are best left untouched. This isn’t about being a killjoy; it’s about saving yourself from disappointment, potential health hazards, and the possible ire of your bartender. Let’s dive into the drinks you should think twice about ordering at a bar, considering everything from ingredient quality to the skill required to make them well.
Drinks That Rely on Freshness and Expertise
Certain cocktails hinge on the quality and freshness of their ingredients, as well as the bartender’s skill. Ordering these can be a gamble, especially during a busy night or at a bar that doesn’t specialize in cocktails.
The Mojito: A Minty Minefield
The mojito, with its blend of rum, mint, lime, sugar, and soda water, seems refreshing on the surface. However, it’s notoriously time-consuming to make properly. A good mojito requires gently muddling the mint to release its oils without bruising it, a delicate balance that many bartenders struggle with, especially when slammed. Often, you’ll receive a drink with overly bitter mint debris floating throughout, or one that’s simply unbalanced in flavor – too sweet, too sour, or not minty enough. Consider alternative rum drinks that don’t require the same level of delicate preparation.
Anything with Fresh Fruit Puree: A Risky Business
Drinks featuring fresh fruit purees, like strawberry daiquiris or mango margaritas, can be questionable. Unless the bar is actively making fresh purees in-house (a rarity), they’re likely using pre-made mixes that are often high in sugar and artificial flavors. These mixes can mask the taste of the alcohol and leave you with a cloyingly sweet, artificial-tasting drink. Opt for cocktails with fresh juices instead, like a classic margarita or a Paloma.
Complex Layered Cocktails: Expectation vs. Reality
Elaborate layered cocktails that look stunning in pictures often fall flat in reality. These drinks require precision and a steady hand to layer the different liquids correctly. When made poorly, they become a muddled mess, both visually and in taste. Choose simpler cocktails with fewer ingredients that are easier to execute consistently.
Drinks That Raise Red Flags About Cleanliness
A bar’s hygiene standards are crucial, and some drinks are more susceptible to contamination than others. Ordering these can be a gamble if you’re unsure about the bar’s cleanliness practices.
Well Drinks with Questionable Garnishes: Proceed with Caution
The fruit garnish sitting on the rim of your well drink might seem harmless, but it could be a breeding ground for bacteria. These garnishes are often pre-cut and left out for extended periods, exposed to air and handled by multiple bartenders. Unless you see a bartender cutting fresh garnishes, it’s best to politely decline. Request your drink without a garnish or ask for a freshly cut piece.
Tap Beers from Unclean Lines: A Bitter Aftertaste
Tap beer is fantastic, but only if the lines are regularly cleaned. Dirty tap lines can harbor bacteria and mold, affecting the beer’s taste and quality. A sour or off-flavor in your beer could be a sign of unclean lines. Opt for bottled beer if you’re concerned about the bar’s tap line maintenance. Look for signs of cleanliness behind the bar – are the surfaces clean? Are the taps regularly wiped down? This can give you an indication of their overall hygiene practices.
“Mystery” Shots: Unknown Origins and Ingredients
Avoid ordering mystery shots or drinks with names you don’t recognize. These are often concoctions of leftover liquors and questionable ingredients, designed more to be cheap and strong than delicious. You have no idea what you’re putting in your body, and the taste is likely to be unpleasant. Stick to classic shots you know and trust.
Drinks That Can Be Overpriced and Underwhelming
Some drinks are simply not worth the price tag at a bar, either because they’re easy to make yourself or because the quality rarely justifies the cost.
Wine by the Glass: A Potential Rip-Off
Unless you’re at a wine bar with a carefully curated selection and proper storage, ordering wine by the glass can be risky. The wine might have been open for days, oxidizing and losing its flavor. You’re also likely paying a significant markup for a small pour. Consider ordering a bottle of wine with friends if you’re a wine drinker, or stick to cocktails.
Top-Shelf Liquor in Basic Mixed Drinks: A Waste of Money
Ordering top-shelf liquor in a simple mixed drink like a rum and Coke or a vodka cranberry is generally a waste of money. The nuances of a high-end spirit are easily masked by the mixers. You’re paying extra for the name without actually appreciating the quality. Save the top-shelf liquor for drinks where it can truly shine, like a neat pour or a classic cocktail like an Old Fashioned.
Anything Massively Marked Up: Know Your Prices
Be aware of typical bar prices in your area. Some bars significantly inflate the cost of certain drinks, particularly trendy or Instagrammable cocktails. Do a quick Google search or check online menus to get an idea of reasonable prices before you order. Don’t be afraid to ask about the price before committing to a drink.
Drinks That Can Be Difficult for the Bartender
During peak hours, ordering complex or time-consuming drinks can put unnecessary stress on the bartender and potentially slow down service for everyone else.
Frozen Drinks During Peak Hours: Time-Consuming and Messy
Frozen drinks, like margaritas or daiquiris, require a blender, which can be noisy and time-consuming, especially when the bar is packed. Making them also creates extra mess. Consider ordering a classic margarita on the rocks instead, especially if the bar is busy.
Anything That Requires Excessive Rinsing or Muddling: Think of the Bartender
Cocktails that demand a lot of preparation, like rinsing glasses with absinthe or muddling multiple ingredients, can slow down the bartender, especially during a rush. Be mindful of the complexity of your order and consider simpler alternatives if the bar is crowded. A little consideration for the bartender goes a long way.
Navigating the Bar Menu Like a Pro
Ultimately, the best way to avoid ordering a disappointing drink is to be informed and observant.
Ask Questions: Don’t Be Afraid to Inquire
If you’re unsure about a drink or an ingredient, don’t hesitate to ask the bartender for clarification. They’re usually happy to offer recommendations or explain the ingredients.
Observe the Bar: Gauge the Quality and Cleanliness
Take a look around the bar before ordering. Is it clean and well-maintained? Are the bartenders attentive and knowledgeable? These observations can give you clues about the quality of the drinks you’re likely to receive.
Stick to the Classics: Tried and True is Often Best
When in doubt, stick to classic cocktails or simple mixed drinks. These are generally easier to execute consistently and less likely to disappoint.
Choosing the right drink at a bar is a skill honed over time. By considering the factors outlined above, you can increase your chances of enjoying a delicious and satisfying experience. Remember, a happy bartender is more likely to make a great drink, so be mindful, respectful, and enjoy your night out!
Why are overly complicated cocktails generally discouraged to order at a bar?
Overly complicated cocktails, involving multiple ingredients and techniques, can significantly slow down service for other patrons. During peak hours, bartenders are focused on efficiency and fulfilling a high volume of orders. Ordering a drink that requires extensive preparation time puts undue stress on the bartender and increases wait times for everyone else, potentially impacting the overall bar atmosphere negatively.
Furthermore, the quality of a complex drink can suffer when a bartender is rushed. Ingredients might not be measured precisely, and steps might be skipped, resulting in a poorly executed cocktail that doesn’t meet expectations. It’s often better to stick to simpler, well-known drinks that bartenders can execute quickly and consistently, especially during busy periods.
What’s the issue with ordering a “surprise me” drink from a bartender?
Asking a bartender to “surprise you” can be problematic because it puts them in a difficult position. They have no information about your preferences – what spirits you enjoy, what flavors you dislike, or what your mood is. This forces them to make a cocktail based on guesswork, which may or may not align with your taste profile, potentially leading to disappointment.
Additionally, creating a bespoke cocktail on the spot consumes valuable time, especially during peak hours. Bartenders need to assess your likes and dislikes, consider available ingredients, and then craft a unique drink. This can disrupt their workflow and delay service for other customers. It’s more helpful to provide some guidance, such as “something with gin and citrus” or “a spicy tequila drink,” to give the bartender a better starting point.
Why should I avoid ordering drinks that aren’t on the bar’s menu?
Ordering drinks not on the menu can be problematic because the bar might not stock the necessary ingredients. Menus are carefully curated to reflect the bar’s inventory and the expertise of the bartenders. Requesting a drink that requires specific liquors, liqueurs, or mixers that aren’t regularly used can lead to disappointment if the bar is unable to fulfill the order.
Even if the ingredients are available, bartenders may not be familiar with the drink’s specific recipe or proportions. This can result in a poorly made cocktail that doesn’t taste as expected. Sticking to the menu ensures that bartenders can consistently deliver high-quality drinks that they are confident in making.
What’s the problem with ordering a very sugary or trendy drink?
Ordering overly sugary or trendy drinks can often lead to disappointment because they are frequently made with pre-mixed ingredients or low-quality spirits to cut costs. Bars prioritize efficiency, and complicated, sweet concoctions are often shortcuts that compromise on quality and fresh ingredients. This results in a drink that may be overly sweet, unbalanced, and lacking in depth of flavor.
Furthermore, these drinks are often fleeting trends, meaning bartenders might not have perfected the recipe or be passionate about crafting them well. They may be more focused on getting the drink out quickly rather than ensuring it’s a well-balanced and enjoyable experience. Opting for classic cocktails or drinks made with quality spirits usually provides a more satisfying and consistent outcome.
Is it ever okay to ask for a complicated modification to a standard drink?
Asking for a small, reasonable modification to a standard drink is generally acceptable, such as “no sugar” or “extra lime.” Bartenders are usually happy to accommodate simple requests that don’t significantly alter the recipe or require extra effort. This shows that you appreciate the standard drink but have a slight preference.
However, requesting extensive or complicated modifications can be problematic. Changes that fundamentally alter the drink’s structure or require additional ingredients and techniques can slow down service and potentially compromise the drink’s balance. It’s always best to be mindful of the bartender’s workload and the complexity of the request, and to consider whether a different drink altogether might be a better option.
Why is ordering the absolute cheapest liquor in a mixed drink generally a bad idea?
Ordering the absolute cheapest liquor in a mixed drink can significantly impact the overall taste and quality of your cocktail. Lower-quality spirits often have harsher flavors, less refinement, and can overwhelm the other ingredients in the drink. The resulting cocktail may be less enjoyable and potentially lead to a less pleasant experience.
While it’s understandable to be mindful of price, opting for a slightly more expensive, mid-range liquor can make a significant difference in the drink’s smoothness and flavor profile. This allows the other ingredients to shine and creates a more balanced and satisfying cocktail. Consider asking the bartender for recommendations within a reasonable price range to ensure a better drinking experience.
What’s wrong with excessively questioning a bartender’s drink-making abilities?
Excessively questioning a bartender’s drink-making abilities or constantly offering unsolicited advice can be perceived as disrespectful and undermine their expertise. Bartenders are trained professionals who take pride in their craft. Implicating that they are not competent or knowledgeable can create a negative and uncomfortable interaction, hindering the enjoyment of your experience and possibly impacting the quality of service.
While it’s perfectly acceptable to ask clarifying questions about ingredients or preparation methods, avoid being overly critical or condescending. Trust that the bartender knows how to properly execute the drink you’ve ordered. Constructive feedback is welcome when delivered respectfully and only if there is a genuine issue with the drink’s quality. A positive and respectful attitude will always lead to a better experience for both you and the bartender.